artfulforger (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
artfulforger) wrote2018-07-04 11:01 am
artfulforger) wrote2018-07-04 11:01 am
Week 10 - Ideal life
I have it.
I know that sounds like fucking shite, but it's the truth. I have done everything in life I've wanted at the time I've done it. I painted amazing works that still hang in museums. I've made a living creating papers and pages and documents that no one has ever been able to see from the truth. Then there were dreams. Mal and Dom opened up the world to me, and I learned how to do things that stories can't even imagine.
I've spent a lot of years forging my entire body into things that I never could be, people that never existed, and beauty that is beyond compare. I have loved every minute of it.
All but one, if I'm honest. Which is the point of this shite, right? You have to be honest.
That fucking house ruined a lot of my life. I wasn't ready to stop dream sharing, and the fact that we have to give it up permanently to avoid being lost forever in limbo is fucked. I loved dreamsharing and even if we're not going to do it professionally, losing it at all is heartbreaking.
That said, we have had new doors open because of that hell house. We have... I don't know. A calling now? Sometimes it feels that special. Most of the time it just feels like being trapped. Our lives are not our own anymore.
And I wouldn't change it for anything. It's me and Arthur. I can handle the rest of this shit, just so long as it's the two of us. Being too cutesy? Maybe but it's the truth. That's all we need to get through any of this, and so what else do I need for an ideal life?
I know that sounds like fucking shite, but it's the truth. I have done everything in life I've wanted at the time I've done it. I painted amazing works that still hang in museums. I've made a living creating papers and pages and documents that no one has ever been able to see from the truth. Then there were dreams. Mal and Dom opened up the world to me, and I learned how to do things that stories can't even imagine.
I've spent a lot of years forging my entire body into things that I never could be, people that never existed, and beauty that is beyond compare. I have loved every minute of it.
All but one, if I'm honest. Which is the point of this shite, right? You have to be honest.
That fucking house ruined a lot of my life. I wasn't ready to stop dream sharing, and the fact that we have to give it up permanently to avoid being lost forever in limbo is fucked. I loved dreamsharing and even if we're not going to do it professionally, losing it at all is heartbreaking.
That said, we have had new doors open because of that hell house. We have... I don't know. A calling now? Sometimes it feels that special. Most of the time it just feels like being trapped. Our lives are not our own anymore.
And I wouldn't change it for anything. It's me and Arthur. I can handle the rest of this shit, just so long as it's the two of us. Being too cutesy? Maybe but it's the truth. That's all we need to get through any of this, and so what else do I need for an ideal life?